Just, Listen.

He spent over an hour talking about how amazing he was. ‘Peacocking’ for lack of a more colorful word. About all of his growth and healing after nearly 5 years. Of course you were happy for him, why wouldn’t you be? You applaud anyone on a journey to find themself. You commend those brave enough to honor what they find. But all roads led to his successes - the build, the climax and eventually, coasting through life happy, accomplished, and abundant. It all left you speechless.

You were drained. Surely, not at all what you were expecting to feel. You left the table having had no opportunity for your own self expression to shine through.  Not one story, or summary you tried to give reached your ‘worth-the-wait’ punch-line, or your closing power statement of enlightenment. Again, all roads lead back to the validation seeker across form you.

You felt unheard even when you did manage to finish a sentence. Your purpose it seemed, was to just listen and pretend quite skillfully to be enamored. Your engagement was not required and you struggled to re-navigate that space. That familiar but growingly distant territory that consisted of you shrinking and dimming yourself to give security and light to others. It was just as unpleasant as you remembered it to be. That’s why you walked away from that suffocating space, knowing you could never, ever return. You got so tired of pretending to be involved in a dialogue that your participation was not required for. You no longer condoned being interrupted as though your words and your journey were irrelevant. And with this vow in mind, you felt an eagerness to escape that night.

But you did not leave before concluding the following... Listen. Always work intentionally to open your ears and your heart when others are speaking their truth to you. Be curious. Challenge an opposing perspective in a respectful way. That is how you show love. That is how you express that you care. You engage. You put yourself in their shoes and try to experience each story as if you were them. When someone opens up to you there’s a strength they’re trying to harness and when only one party is allowed to show their strength, the other party is left feeling caged into the category of ‘weakness'.

Not everyone will get it. Not everyone you love will get it. You worry about yourself, and be sure to always listen.

Love,

Nia

 

Just Focus.

You know what you want, and what you deserve. It’s not that you forget, you just put it in the back of your mind time and time again. You’ve been conditioned to believe that the approval is outside of yourself and that validation comes from the other. From another.. You didn’t realize that the only validation index was within self. You didn’t realize that you had the power that they all wanted. You didn’t realize how easily you gave it away.  

Why didn’t you stop to think, that the key to peace was in your hand the whole time? Your perspective and your truth has the power to transform your world and has the power to minimize any limitations. But you refuse to use that power to set yourself free.

Always hold on to and protect that power, because the minute you go outside of yourself you stumble.. You have everything you will ever need within you, and keeping that in mind is an overwhelming responsibility. Others have used your own power to mold you and to limit you. Take it back. Just stay focused you. Just stay focused on your power. Just remember that it starts with you.

Love,

Nia